Work Until You Cannot See

It's purely maddening and bewildering to discover this: The longer I work on something, the more I try to improve, the more I can't tell whether I'm actually getting better. I exercise and my muscles get sore and irritated and suddenly sitting up straight is a challenge. (Oh great! Now I'm going backwards!) I add a few more spices and a dash of salt to the sauce…

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Real Life Drama

It’s a blast from the past today. Drama school lessons ranging from social studies to sexual attraction. (Photos of Elise from acting projects at the end of this post!) A large part of my personality formation came through my involvement in the drama department at my university. I took the year-long acting series offered there and gained an enormous depth of understanding for: 1. What makes…

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2015 Highlights

This year has truly, madly, deeply* been one of the craziest that I, my family, and my heart has ever seen. I've experienced more heartbreak this year than most of those that came before it and I've been knocked to my knees, in tears, by generosity and love in measures that have risen to meet the height of my pain.   *Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage…

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Happy Birthday, Little Man!

My dear little one, Every month you inch farther away from “little” and closer to “big.” Now you are two years old. Big brown eyes, mouth that laughs readily, fingers that point and poke and touch, hands that clap and nestle inside of mine while we walk together. I’ve watched you learn your first words. I’ve seen you glow with pride as you identity the “moo”…

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Without Peace

Productivity is "my thing." I wake up with my to-do list spinning in a loop through my mind. I often try to knock off a few things while my son eats his breakfast, so that I'm set up in the lead for the rest of my day. I'm often a few minutes late to an appointment because I've tried to squeeze in *one more thing* before…

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No Regrets

  I learned today that the author under whom I studied last summer did not offer the same high-intensity workshop this year. A squeeze tightened in my chest as the thought ran through me: Did I attend the last session he will offer? I don't know the answer to this question, but it started me down a path of gratitude. I've sometimes wondered in the time since attending…

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Divisions

I'm a bit obsessed with prioritizing. Sometimes I divide my life so carefully into priorities, I create a hierarchy of things that are "worthy" and "unworthy" of the time I can presently give. This works fine and helps narrow my focus when I'm in survival mode. It allows me to just do what I can to meet immediate needs and make sure nothing catches on fire…

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Wiseness (AKA Wisdom)

Wisdom. Do we all want to have it? Some people I know prefer to walk the paths their passion calls them to, even if it goes contrary to advice they’ve received. We all know there’s such a thing as bad advice, but regardless of how good the advice might be, these friends would rather learn the hard way than submit blindly to directions. They want to…

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Toys of My Youth

Store-bought Barbie doll houses were often on my wish-list, but never a reality for me. My need for the products I'd seen on TV was the mother of my inventions. I tucked fabric around VHS clam shell cases and stuffed a "pillow" lump on one end to make a bed. I clipped photos of flower arrangements from a floral catalog and taped them to the wall…

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Wet Earth

Yesterday we buried our dead baby. This is going to be a sad post, so read on only if you choose to bear witness to a grief that is too often silenced. For those of you who know my family, my 18 month old son is perfectly fine and healthy. It's his younger sibling I refer to. January was a dark month for us. We had…

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